and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
