can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize