I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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