Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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