Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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