My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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