I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize