nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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