nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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