Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
