somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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