I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
