A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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