a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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