So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
