Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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