We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone shattered a urinal.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
