Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
