Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
