im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
