So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
