There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
