Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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