you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
