Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
