My friends, they love my intelligence
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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