yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
