I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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