so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
