tell your sister to shave her snatch
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
