Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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