She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
