His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
