ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
