yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
