So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
