Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
