is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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