threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
