White coat. Heels.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
