Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
