she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
