where am i from again
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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