dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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