MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
a search helicopter?!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
