I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We left an ass print on the piano.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
