i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
