that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
