perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
