My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
