I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
