I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
