Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
