Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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