i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
