I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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