Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
