After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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